Sex Selection in the South Asian community: Adjust this!

Recently in my extended family there has been talk about this new Netflix show "Indian matchmaking." I rolled my eyes at the thought of this and my blood started to boil at the idea of the amount of colorism I was going to hear. You know the, “ I need light skin or wheatish complexion,” but of course not dark!

But, what actually  made my blood boil, was the use of the word "adjustment". Some might say it is equivalent to a western compromise. So what's the big deal you might ask?Well I don’t agree with that either, because in most of the  relationships, I see the women doing a lot more work, and having to ask their “partners”, who are grown people with a brain to “pitch in”. For example to make a meal, or to clean a bathroom. Now, there are in some relationships, male partners that I do adore, because they perform  these basic duties without being asked. But then I get in trouble with my female friends, who ask, “why does he get a high-five” for taking care of the kids? Well to be honest, I try to explain, because it's still so rare to see a real equal partnership. Marriage is intertwined with patriarchy, and I think it's the way society secretly wants it. To me, I see evidence of patriarchy and sexism when I see  females, the  majority of the time going out of their way to make sure the list of “To dos” are done by themselves. A lot of guys don’t bother with making a  list, because in my experience, the guys  never seem to feel the need to make one. 

Given my life experience with alopecia at the age of 7 and again at age 16 and a  sudden massive stroke at a healthy age of 36 I have been  forced to be flexible as a bald disabled female. My problem is with the South Asian indian word usage of “adjustment” and “flexible”, as these  usually fall on the female to carry out.

Now is the show playing off stereotypes?   From what I see, in terms of the way South Asian students and a few South Asian friends in high school are raised, despite our brown skin being the same,  we come from very different  cultural upbringing.. 

I was encouraged to  go out  anywhere I wanted, however, my indian female  friends could only go to the library, that was more than 20 years ago. Now when I talk to my south asian students  many of the females have very different rules than the boys do, if the boys even  have any;   both need to do very well in studies especially  math and science. However,  girls also need to be adept at  house work.  I've asked my students in class who does the  housework, majority of the girls put up their hands, beside one or two boys that are usually  first born. 

And then I ask, the boys ``how is that fair?"  Most just giggle and shrug it off saying, that's just the way it is. At this point a few of the girls are fuming and yelling at the boys,  about why it's not fair. Probably  everything they'd like to tell their parents/grandparents/Uncles/ Aunties.  Which parents need to hear,

 In India we know that inequality among the genders can lead to death, often before even being born..  Now what happens when you move to another country? Well cultural values come w